THE NURSE

WHAT A GREAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOUR IN LOVE. Barbara and I planned our life together..At age my mother tried to kill her self..I couldn't find my shot gun she had it in her closet.One night we were to find her running toward a train.She was hospitalized for several months Sept.to Christmas and Barbara was the center of my universe.I could go and live with her and be safe..That was not to happen.One of the life scripts that I carry is that peopl that I love the most will leave abandoment.Do I pick people who will forfill this role? MyFather was to find confort in other women.FIGHTING,FIGHTING,FIGHTING it seems that all we did.Several years of conflict led to a life decision . We met and decided to breakup to see if we were in love or lust.We were going to seperat for a month-thats a long time I was hurting bad in about 10 days I started to try to call her I must see her,smell her, feel her touch ...No luck she wasn't there-where was she ?My life was coming un gluded......it took another week to findly get to go out for coffee or a coke.I had her back.I am safe; we didn't hug or kiss!!what's wrong?God I want to be with her so bad It hurts...We chatted and then she said that she met some oneelse and her parents just loved him......she was engaged to be married in the spring.I am dead;life is over and I am dead.I think I cried for about a week.I wanted to get away..Join the Army?No just throw my self in to my studies.Vietnam is close at hand.Grades must go up or I am gone.